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Jo Fitzsimons is a freelance travel writer who has visited over 60 countries. www.indianajo.com is the place where she shares destination details, travel itineraries, planning and booking tips and trip tales. Her aim: to help you plan your travel adventure on your terms and to your budget.

14 Responses

  1. Kri
    Kri at | | Reply

    Old post I know but I just need to vent a little while I’m on this trip. I tried to come up with an excuse why I couldn’t go before we even booked but I couldn’t come up with a valid reason. My travel companion is very self centered. Coming into it with that attitude was probably my first problem.

    We’re staying overseas at some of her families house. I’m sleeping on the floor. I’ve tried to be polite to the family and haven’t complained about anything. She has thrown insults at me for the first two days. I finally can’t take it anymore and confront her. She blames her attitude on me because I’m being rude to her family by asking them questions (I was clarifying who they were talking about in their story) and having bad energy. She tells me she’s really sensitive to energy and she’s just reacting to my energy.

    I asked her if she’s going to continue to be this was because I don’t appreciate it. I even offered to go home because it’s not worth it to me to stay if this will be the experience. She told me to stop being the victim and apologized.

    She continued to belittle me the rest of the time with her family and got mad at me for being a controlling. She gets mad at me for telling her things, like which train to take, gets mad at me for not telling her things, like which train to take, and then gets mad if I get the wrong train.

    She even got mad when my phone told us to take the subway and it was longer than 2 stops.
    She told her family that I was on her last nerve while I was in earshot. We were eating at a restaurant and everyone got up to look at the view except for one family member. I stayed while my friend went to the bathroom so her family member wouldn’t eat alone. When she got back I told her I needed to use the restroom. She asked me why I why waited instead of going while she was up and I told her it was so the other lady wasn’t alone. Then she started talking about me.

    On the second leg of the trip she told me I could still lose 20 more pounds (I’ve lost 75 in the last year and am the smallest I’ve been since high school). She’s very large. She also told me to stop talking to her like a child. (She pointed out a dog that we had seen earlier. I said that’s the one from the store.)

    I’m not changing my plans for tomorrow, there are things I want to see that she won’t let me so I’m sending her off on her own. She wants me to come because she’s worried how to get where she’s going because her phone is not working. I’m hoping she gets lost.

    On the last leg I booked a city pass that we both agreed to buy. Now she wants me purchase hers. I told her I can’t. 1. I don’t want to pay for her and 2. I can only have one Reservation number on the app it uses. She has not booked it and I’ve already spent $150 on my 3 day pass.

    I am counting down the days for this trip to end. I can’t stand it. The only reason I’m still with her is I booked the last hotel. Otherwise I would separate at this point and book my own hotel.

    The worse is that we have friends in common and she is know to talk behind your back to people like crazy. That’s why I couldn’t just say no to the trip in the first place. It sounds ridiculous but this lady is crazy.

  2. Husband Hates Me But Won't Leave
    Husband Hates Me But Won't Leave at | | Reply

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  3. Emotional Maturity Meaning
    Emotional Maturity Meaning at | | Reply

    I love anything and everything that is written well… yeah you got some good content going on there for sure.

  4. Lea
    Lea at | | Reply

    I just came back from vacation with a childhood friend (guy) and, well, we aren’t friends anymore. I would have never thought things would go so horribly, because I’ve known this person for over 10 years and always considered him to be like a brother to me, but things certainly went bad. First off, he wouldn’t shut up. He would talk all the time, mostly about himself and how great he is, and never let me enjoy a moment of silence. Then 2 days later, when I really started to need some space, I joined a group of people from our hostel who were going to a nearby bar but my friend started making a big drama as we were walking to the bar because I supposedly ‘’broke the initial plan’’ which was to hit a nightclub. Problem was, all the nightclubs were empty that day, it was a Monday night in a small town in Costa Rica, so following our group from the hostel was obviously the better plan and I just went with it. But he got so angry so I repeatedly explained I preferred staying with the group and didn’t feel like going to a nightclub with him only, so he disappeared that night without saying goodbye.

    The next morning when I went to breakfast, he was there, ready to fight again about the previous night. He started telling me I’m unstable and should always stick to the plans or advise if otherwise, which I apologized for. But the next day was the breaking point for me…
    We were at the beach and we had each taken a 2 hour surf lesson which ended at sunset. We both got out of the water after our lesson, we smoked a cigarette and relaxed a bit, and I was ready to go back to the hotel to shower and rest as I was exhausted. But before I knew it, he was already back in the water with his surf board, in the dark. Our hotel was a few steps away from the beach, so I figured he could join me when he’s done. I really did not feel like waiting after him, I only wanted to shower and rest. So I tried yelling, from outside the water ‘’hey I’m going back to the hostel okay? Need to shower see you there!’’ I yelled it a couple times to make sure he heard it, and next thing I know, he’s coming out of the water screaming at me again : ‘’F*** you got a f***** problem why can’t you just wait for me to finish, you’re in need of attention or something! If you want to leave just leave and stop being annoying you’re so unstable you’re a pain to have around etc.’’

    I was so in shock, it did not make the slightest sense that he would be angry at me for this. I couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth so I took my stuff and left without saying a word to him. The next day, at breakfast, he started accusing me again of being selfish, not caring about other people so I simply told him I thought it would be best to cancel all our plans for the rest of the week and each go our own way. So we cancelled our reservations at all the other cities we were supposed to visit together and he left the next morning. I stayed in that city alone for the rest of the trip, and I must say, it was SO MUCH BETTER than to be around him !!

    I still can’t make sense of anything that happened with him during this trip, and I can’t believe our friendship is over. The only explanation I can find to his behavior is that maybe he had feelings for me and wanted to spend a lot of alone time with me? Or maybe I’m too independent to travel with other people? I’m not sure…All I know is that he wasn’t fun to be around from the start, and it only got worse as days went by…

  5. Guest
    Guest at | | Reply

    I have come to the conclusion after numerous ruined trips, vacations, that I will have to face the reality that I cannot travel with my mother and probably will not be able to ever take her to any countries she would like to see. We have so many differences. For instance, if the gas tank is half full then it is an argument because she starts panicking and I can wait until longer before I fill it up.
    Or, getting into a blowup over how much of a tip to leave the server when she was horrible. This may sound petty to people but you have to understand that a mother feels she has more say in how you behave so it is much worse. I can’t even hardly visit her at her home without leaving early. It is very sad.

    Then, I think of the one time I traveled while studying abroad and then had a ten day break. Another student and I decided to see several countries together. Boy, did I learn that the next time you really need to talk to someone about their travel habits!

    We were using RyanAir with no assigned seats so I would have to get in line early because I am claustrophobic. She like to wait until the last minute. So, we usually got in lines separately for the same flight. I always wanted to leave the hotel on time so we didn’t get charged a late fee for not being out on time…. and she would argue
    about that and did everything late. She never left room for error to catch a bus or flight or anything.

    Then choosing a restaurant was such a damn big deal to her. I was pretty open about it and just wanted to eat separately. I would want to sit outside and she didn’t want to because there might be dust. Or, I wanted to walk the boardwalk but she wanted to wait until evening. We disagreed on everything! The final straw was when she ran out of money and then copped an attitude because I said she could borrow some but needed to pay me back. Guess she thought I shouldn’t be concerned about my own money.

  6. Bemused Backpacker
    Bemused Backpacker at | | Reply

    That’s a pretty severe reaction! Haha!

    I have met so many people on the road with a variety of relationships ensuing. Some have been no more than a nice conversation or companionship for a long overnight bus or train journey. Others have become travelling companions and even friends for a few days or a week or so. Occassionally I have met those who have become – well lets just say more than that – for a brief time. I have never felt the need to run out in the middle of the night though! You meet people on the road and travel together for a time, when it is time to part ways you simply do that. That is the nature of backpacking.

    Travelling with a long term partner or friend from home is a WHOLE different matter though! haha!

    1. IndianaJo
      IndianaJo at | | Reply

      Ha ha – I guess I’m perhaps a little prone to extremes 🙂 It takes a lot for me to fall out with someone, but when I do… I’m pretty lucky that I havea ‘stock’ of family and friends who regularly come and visit me on my trips and I always feel like they are deserting me when they have to go home 🙂

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