ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT ROOM?
DEAR DORM DWELLER,
Intend to have sex in the room (including having fun with yourself)?
Feel unwell and are likely to spend the night coughing (not including hangovers)?
Need to turn the lights on at 3 a.m. just to get into bed?
Have difficulty deciding which pyjamas to wear at night?
Have an uncontrollable need to talk at full volume when others are sleeping?
Like to play shit music/movies without earphones?
Take long showers until all of the water is gone?
Leave an animal’s worth of hair in the shower?
Find the middle of the night the best time to pack your bag, which somehow sounds like it is made out of plastic shopping bags?
Have a foot odor problem yet refuse to leave your shoes outside?
Have a preparing for bed routine that takes more than a few minutes?
Have night time stage whispers that are louder than regular shouting?
Have psychological issues?
Like to sleep/walk around naked?
Collect your pension and sleep in a dorm in the hope of meeting young girls?
If you answered yes to any of the above,
YOU NEED TO BE IN A PRIVATE ROOM!
(If you answered yes to the last question, you may alternatively need to be in prison.)
THE RESPECTFUL DORM USERS